Dear parents, caregivers, and grandparents who have no idea what on Earth is going on:
As you know, School Spirit Week typically comes at the end of the year, but we thought, “How can we up the ante, not to mention the anxiety level, for the first week of school?” And here we are. Please see below for a detailed day-by-day guide to the week. Of course, the first week of school is technically a half-week—but don’t worry, we’ve packed in a week’s worth of unreasonable requests!
Wednesday: School Color Day AND Video Game Day
Our school’s official colors are blue, pink, purple, and green. We realize it may be difficult to find this color combination in store-bought shirts, so we suggest making your own. And by “making your own” we mean both the shirts and the dyes. Please see the previous handouts regarding non-toxic, natural dyes you can make yourself that will probably not ruin too much of your house! Got your shirt ready to go? Great! Now figure out how to make it relevant for Video Game Day (reminder: it’s the same day). We used to have the children dress up as a favorite character from a book, but no one reads anymore, so we changed this to Video Game Day. Children may dress up as their favorite characters from a video game, such as Mario, Princess Peach, Steve from Minecraft, or a Fortnite player. No cardboard or foam swords are allowed on school grounds. They’re not dangerous, just dumb.
Thursday: Cat Day AND Wacky Clothing Day
Bring your favorite cat to school! If you don’t have a cat, your child can dress up as a cat or can “borrow” a cat from our local animal shelter. If your child is allergic to cats, they should bring an inhaler instead! Don’t forget (did you forget?), it’s also Wacky Clothing Day, so be sure your kids wear inside-out and backward clothing, mismatched socks, and one of those hats like the kind Princess Beatrice of York wears. If your child does not participate in Wacky Clothing Day, we will have to take their cat away. Or their inhaler. No exceptions.
Friday: Future Day AND Field Day
In the past, we celebrated Career Day, but since there might not be any actual jobs once your child is grown, we’ve changed this to Future Day. Have your child dress up as a robot, AI, self-driving car, or something else that may take over jobs that humans used to do! Don’t forget (you keep forgetting, don’t you?), it’s also Field Day! Each child will be assigned a specific color to wear. It will not include any of the colors worn on School Color/Video Game Day. Your child will absolutely need a completely different shirt for this day. Just trust us on this one. When you show up with your child at Field Day we will ask you where you got the clothing item, and let’s just say it had better come from a local non-chain store, even though none of the local non-chain stores carry children’s clothing.
We hope you and your child enjoy Spirit (Half) Week! We were going to call it Mandatory Spirit Week but we’d like to think you already understand that part by now. Let’s have a great school year full of forced fun!
Illustration by Laura Schneider