Did we all have fun today in the big city? We did so many cool things in Chicago today. I still can’t believe the size of that American Girl store. A hair salon for dolls? I guess I’ve seen it all. Now we just have one more thing to do before we go home. Daddy’s car got towed so we have to run across town. This will be really quick. I promise.
Our first cab ride in Chicago! I’m glad you guys get to see the whole city. There’s a lot more to this town than Michigan Avenue. That smell? C’mon guys! I bet one of you just had a little accident in your pants. Let’s not talk about it, okay? Look! There’s the John Hancock building. Daddy used to have a client way up there on the 42nd floor. Cool, huh?
I know it’s cold but Daddy just needs to talk to the lady behind the window. Guys, listen to me. Just because she’s missing an eye doesn’t mean she’s a pirate. Don’t be rude. This isn’t a cartoon, kids. This is very, very real life. Once daddy puts money in the sliding steel drawer we can get our car and head home to Wisconsin.
I have to say I’m impressed at what good little readers you’re becoming. Yes, the sign says “Beware of Dogs” but the doggies are sleeping right now. There’s nothing to be scared about. They have such cute, little cuddly puppies in Chicago. Besides, they only let them out in the middle of the night to eat squirrels and trespassers. I’m kidding!
Oh boy! We are really having an amazing Chicago adventure. Guess what? The car won’t start. When a car is towed, sometimes the alarm goes off until the battery dies. I can’t believe how cold it is for April. I don’t think the pirate lady is going to help us. Let’s get you guys out of the cold before your lips turn blue. I saw a bar across the street. We can warm up while daddy calls someone for help.
So this place is called Lucky’s. And we are feeling lucky, aren’t we? Aren’t you guys so happy to see the whole city? I know, everyone looks like a grizzly bear. I think they’re hibernating until summer. Look, video games! Do you guys know how to play video poker? It’s super fun.
At this point I think it’s better if we grab a room for the night and sort all of this out in the morning. The bartender doesn’t think you guys should be here. Let’s cash out your poker winnings and check into the motel down the block. Yay! We get to have a Chicago sleepover. Your American Girl doll loves sleepovers.
This room is so fun. Listen guys, a couple of rules. Rule #1: no one walks on this carpet without shoes. Rule #2: No one touches anything. If you want to touch something you ask daddy first. You guys sit on your jackets on top of the bed and we’ll watch a cartoon.
On second thought it doesn’t seem like this motel has a lot of family programming on TV. We better call Mommy. Tell her about the Lego store. That was so cool that they had a Storm Trooper made out of Legos. She’s going to love that story.
What did Mommy say? Oh. Just that I’m so stupid that she can’t trust me to take the kids to Chicago. She’s hilarious. Let’s try to get some sleep. No, it’s silly to have nightmares about the doggies at the impound lot. They’re so friendly. I want to give them a nice toy and pat their bellies. I bet they do really cool tricks that don’t even involve death.
There’s never a dull moment on the west side of Chicago. Looks like Daddy’s wallet is missing. And guess what? My pants are gone, too. This is sooooo funny! I have to go talk to the motel manager in my boxer shorts. Your daddy is such a character.
That was so nice of the motel people to give Daddy a new pair of pants. Look at how big they are. I bet I could fit two of me in these overalls. You know what? You guys were jealous of Sally for going to Disney World on spring break but you two had so much more fun. This was the best trip to Chicago ever. The motel manager said he would help Daddy jump the car. Let’s go back to the pirate lady and get our car running. Seriously, best trip ever.
Whew! Almost home. Did you check around your car seat? Please don’t tell me you left your American Girl doll at that motel. Okay, don’t cry. We can go back and get it. Hooray! Fun family trip to Chicago!
Illustration by Luke Eastman