Submission Guidelines for Writers
RAZED is focused on conceptual humor related to parenting. Full stop.
- RAZED is now a quarterly! Meaning, we will no longer be publishing weekly or every-other-week or whenever the hell we feel like it. Meaning, we are looking for submissions only for our specific themes. Meaning, we are no longer doing rolling submissions for whatevs.
- Please make sure your piece ties to one of the below themes. If it doesn’t fit within a theme, we can’t use it.
- 2018 themes:
- ISSUE 1: FOOL ME ONCE (pub April 1, submissions deadline March 16)—pranks, jokes, laffs, clowns.
- ISSUE 2: SCHOOL’S OUT FOR SUMMER (pub July 1, submissions deadline June 15)—summer vacation, what happened at band camp, Alice Cooper, there is so much to write about here what more can we say.
- ISSUE 3: BACK TO SCHOOL (pub Sept 1, submissions deadline Aug 17)—thank Jesus in Heaven summer vacation is over, stuff about teachers, back-to-school shopping, so on and so forth.
- ISSUE 4: SLEIGH RIDE TO HELL (pub Nov 1, submissions deadline Oct 15)—the holidays, making magic happen for your children while slowing being ground to dust, Santa, elves, I mean these pieces write themselves, guys.
WHAT WE’RE LOOKING FOR
- Original, previously unpublished humor pieces.
- Length: 900-ish words max.
- What we love: Original voices. Weird ideas. Laughing. Also: Darkness, insight, and honesty without insane over-the-top nastiness or name calling. We win when we’re smart.
- We reject all pieces that are not conceptual humor related to parenting. This includes personal essays, poems, fiction, GIFicles, interviews, book reviews, or requests for cheese (yes, we’ve gotten one of those).
HOW TO SUBMIT
- Copy your piece into the body of an e-mail, no attachments please.
- Put the title in the subject line.
- Tell us your name and e-mail as well as your website, Twitter, and/or Instagram handle should we choose to publish your submission.
- You’ll hear back from us within two weeks. If you don’t, remind us!
- Send it to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Submission Guidelines for Illustrators
We’re now open to submissions from illustrators. Woooooooo!
WHAT WE’RE LOOKING FOR
- All of the illustrations we publish on RAZED are original to the site. Okay, we’ve cross-posted one before, but it’s rare that we find an existing illustration that works with the writing we accept.
- It should go without saying (but we’ll say it), we’re looking for distinct illustration styles with an emphasis on black and white line techniques. Check the site and you’ll catch our drift.
- What we love: The ability to concept an illustration and add a layer to the written piece that wouldn’t exist otherwise. We’re not necessarily looking for literal interpretations of a piece, but it depends on the piece.
HOW TO SUBMIT
- You must have a portfolio site, Tumblr, Instagram, or SOMETHING that contains a decent body of work so we can get a sense of your style, concepting ability, experience, and versatility.
- Put “Illustrator Submission” in the subject line.
- Tell us your name and e-mail as well as your website, Twitter, and/or Instagram handle.
- Give us some idea of your level of interest (“Reach out to me all the time!” or more like “I can do this maybe twice a year.”) as well as your preferred turnaround time. We try to give illustrators a decent chunk of time (typically 2 weeks) but sometimes it’s a lot faster and sometimes it’s a lot longer. This will help us determine where you might fit in the mix of our current illustrators. In other words, there are no wrong answers.
- We’ll respond to you within two weeks. If we don’t, remind us!
- Send to: email@example.com
Your Work Has Been Accepted! Hooray!
- For now, RAZED isn’t in a position to pay anyone anything, including us. We pay out of our own shallow pockets to keep the site running.
- But! You retain all rights to your work.
- Illustrators: We strive to be matchmakers between each particular piece and your approach and style. That means some illustrators are tapped all the time, others only once in awhile. Not feeling the piece you’ve been assigned or can’t find your angle on it? You can always pass and wait for the next thing.
- Writers: Every piece goes through editing, all edits are reviewed by the writer, and writers will always receive a preview link to review the final piece before it’s published. “Collaborative” is our middle name! And if we had a last name, we’d like it to be Zuckerberg.
- We ask that you wait at least two weeks before allowing any cross-posts of your writing or your illustration. We spend our time and money and our negligible social capital on making each piece killer and then we promote the bejesus out of it. So if you kick it to another site immediately, it’s really not all that cool.
- If / when you cross-post a piece, please be sure to link back to us as the original source (i.e. “This piece / this illustration originally appeared on the parenting humor site RAZED”). Writers: illustrations are never to be cross-posted without permission. Just as an illustrator should never cross-post your writing without your permission.
- Tell all your friends! Seriously!