Welcome to Middle-Aged Dads’ Fight Club

The first rule of Middle-Aged Dads’ Fight Club is… you do not talk about Middle-Aged Dads’ Fight Club.

The second rule of Middle-Aged Dads’ Fight Club is… seriously, please don’t tell my wife. She just got me these cargo shorts and if she finds out I ripped them here she’ll kill me.

Third rule of Middle-Aged Dads’ Fight Club: Nothing around the face. Some of us have family portraits tomorrow.

Fourth rule: I always forget this one.

Fifth Rule: Give me a second to catch my goddamn breath will you?

Sixth rule: Let’s just go with the don’t-tell-my-wife thing again.

Seventh rule: Fights will go on as long as they have to. Unless it’s Thursday night. I have to watch the kids. She’s got Pilates.

And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first night at Middle-Aged Dads’ Fight Club, you have to bring the Cool Ranch Doritos. Last time, Coogan forgot and all we had were those baby carrots Todd’s wife always sends him with.

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